Do your achievements suck? Are you a failure or a success?
Ouch – harsh question eh? This is going to be a bit of a different blog post this week, but one I think has really great timing. We’re playing in the area of psychological health and fitness – based on some observations of the past week or so.
We have this wall at Le Physique, (actually we have several), but there are two walls in particular that I want to tell you about.
One is our goal wall. Every quarter, we perform re-assessments with our clients and encourage them to think about specific goals they’d like to achieve in 2 or three months. Then we, as trainers, know how to align ourselves with what our clients truly want and need. Sure, we’ll provide the professional guidance and input if needed, but ultimately, we’re here to help THEM get what THEY want, not what we want.
The kinds of goals you’ll see written on our goal wall range from “learn to run 5k” to “go kayaking” and “hike Kilimanjaro” to “Quad crush” (I’m not entirely sure what this one is, but the client and his trainer do, so that’s good enough for me). The purpose of this wall is to provide people with purpose for their workouts, inspiration and to play a little.
We have a second wall with a giant posterboard on it that says “CONGRATULATIONS, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” and when someone achieves their goal, we make a big hubaloo about it, move the note over and put up a photo of them doing it. The purpose of this wall is to provide inspiration and an opportunity for clients to strut their stuff. Cycling 300k or hiking the Yosemite Grand Traverse is pretty awesome. For a client with debilitating back and knee pain to comfortably do 20 minutes on the treadmill and confidence to do ball crunches…I love it!
Here’s where the interesting observation is. When I ask people how they will celebrate or reward themselves for achieving something really personally cool, I usually get a modest response like, “oh…um, I don’t know. I wasn’t planning anything.” It’s like the concept of totally being jazzed about what they did, is brushed under the rug, never to be seen again. I get similar responses some of my team at staff meetings when I ask them to share their wins for the week. They talk about a CLIENT’s wins, or even a CO-WORKER’s wins…they typically shine the light on someone else. Curious!
My team and my clients are so modest, I love that they aren’t boastful. But that’s where the disconnect is. There is a HUGE difference between being proud of yourself and being confident enough to share what you’ve achieved to inspire others, versus letting your ego run the show, get on a soapbox and say, “I did this, and you didn’t. You suck – HA HA.”
I’ve had times in my life when a friend or colleauge is joyfully expressing something amazing in their lives, in an unassuming manner. And I’ve typically had two responses.
- I’m so jealous – what a bitch…bwah bwah bwah bwah
- WOW I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!
I realize that when I had that reaction (1), it’s because I have issues (hey, I’m working on them) I ended up promising myself that I’d never be like that; I would never “boast” or even talk about my achievements, for fear of looking like I’m all high and mighty.
What really happened (besides allowing myself to ruin the rest of my day or week by hanging on to jealously, or worse, ruining friendships) is that I totally negated what I achieved.
Bachelor’s Degree? Meh.
Bought my own place? Whatever.
Running a successful Personal Training Studio? Yeah, right.
Recognized in BC as the trainer of the year, and placed top 3 in martial arts competitions? Any moron with half a brain cell could do that.
So I learned to discount my achievements and never celebrate my wins. I taught myself that I would never amount to anything; I’m a complete failure because I wasn’t Oprah Winfrey or Richard Branson…YESTERDAY. I looked at everything my friends were doing and put them on pedestals (then shot arrows at them), thought I was scum of the Earth and should probably return to the Earth in a hurry (dust to dust, right?). Oh yes…times have been dark for this cat.
Now, when someone tells me something amazing, I go with option 2 (and totally honestly, not the fake smile and congrats). Their achievements inspire me to try it, or see that the Universe showing me that I can achieve it too. My favourite feeling? Just really, really enjoying seeing someone authentically happy (hey, skydiving is just NOT something I’m in to, but if you want to, do it!). I’m totally digressing so I’ll get back to the point.
My challenge to YOU is to acknowledge how awesome you really are. If you’re willing to play along:
Step (1) Make a list of all the incredible things you have achieved in your life and the things you’re super grateful for – no matter how “small.” Spend a good 10 minutes on this list. Keep writing
Step (2) Read it over
Step (3) Read it over as though someone you deeply care about just handed you their list
Step (4) Pat yourself on the back (if you have been told you have winging scapula, do this every day)
Step (5) Be awesome
Repeat as necessary.
Can you see how this is just a matter of a paradigm shift? You could read that list over and totally criticize yourself and think it’s nothing. Or you could read that list over, notice and celebrate yourself.
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So here’s where the cool timing part comes in. In June, we’re hosting a SPRING PARTY to celebrate YOU! We just want you to have some appetizers, participate in a free group dance lesson and be acknowledged for being so friggin cool.
So that’s it – pat yourself on the back, shine your light and come to your party on June 6th at 6pm for a free dance lesson and hang with people who think you’re amazing.
Namaste!
Questions? Comments? Want to know why patting yourself on the back is good for scapular stability? Email me at nicole (at) lephysique.com or call me 604 873-2255. Have an amazing day!
